


New

by SquigglyAverageJoe



Category: Yandere Simulator (Video Game)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-09
Updated: 2020-04-08
Packaged: 2020-06-25 04:33:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 7
Words: 18,791
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19738399
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SquigglyAverageJoe/pseuds/SquigglyAverageJoe
Summary: In one day, Ayano Aishi is introduced to two brand new emotions, the love of her life, and a rival who wants to take everything from her. Her emotions might be new, but murderers in the family very clearly aren’t.





	1. Chapter 1

Truth be told, Ayano Aishi didn’t know what she was missing out on. Or rather, she knew she was missing something—she had been told once, by her mother, what she was missing out on—emotions. She did not feel emotions. She was missing out on feeling, on life, she was merely existing, and supposedly she would one day find someone—a guy most likely, her mother had said, but there was a chance that it wouldn’t be and she really didn’t care too much, so long as they did what they were supposed to—and they’d make her feel. She wouldn’t feel like this.

Ayano Aishi supposed she looked forward to it, but she really didn’t. She couldn’t. She had tried, knew she fell short, and simply didn’t care. She just knew she was _supposed_ to look forward to it, that her mother very much wanted her to look forward to it, so she just noted that and kept on existing, which wasn’t very difficult to do.

She sighed, not sure why she was thinking about this. Maybe she was confused? She didn’t know, she didn’t care. It literally didn’t matter. But maybe fate or something similar knew what was in store and made her think about this at this moment. She rolled her shoulders and gripped her books to her chest and started walking to her class.

Everything about her was average, Ayano knew, but she couldn’t feel desire, so she hadn’t ever felt any need to not be so average. She did just fine in her classes, but didn’t really excel—once a girl joked, although she had never found any humor in it, that she was doomed to be average because she looked so incredibly average. She supposed that was true too—by standards, she was average in looks, but that didn’t bother her. Black hair in a pony tail, light skin, grey eyes, and the same uniform everyone else at her school wore, complete with some black stockings so she didn’t stick out too much with her standard, average appearance she put no effort into. Looking back, she’d wish she _had_ put in at least a. Little effort, but she just didn’t care.

And she couldn’t care that she didn’t care.

She stared straight ahead and kept walking, steady and swiftly in the crowded hallway. She glanced around—she always had this intense urge to look around and be aware of her surroundings, aware of the people around her. It didn’t help that everyone around her seem determined to look extremely different from each other due to the uniforms—so everyone had crazy colored, styled hair and accessories, so they’d stand out. A girl with floor length pigtails caught her attention and she stopped looking in front of her for a brief moment—when she looked in front of her, it was too late.

She collided head on with a boy who was a grey blur in her vision as she fell to the floor, her books scattering around. No one paid them any mind, though.

“Oh! Sorry, I wasn’t paying attention. Are you okay?”

She looked up. A boy, she noted, most likely a year older than her age, but she noticed, he was as average as her. Black hair, grey eyes, black, simple clothing. “Yeah, I’m fine,” she responded, because that was the expected response from her.

“Here, let me help you up.” He offered a hand and Ayano supposed the most normal thing to do would be to take his hand. So she did.

The moment their fingers touched, everything changed. Colors brightened, details sharpened, and at the same time, everything stayed exactly the same. Maybe Ayano herself was changing, but all of a sudden, there was a heat to her cheeks and her heart was beating—and she was aware of that, and she _cared_ about that. Her astonishment lasted for a good moment—then she just felt happy. A beating heart, warmth in her body, _color_ and—the boy was staring at her. “I’m sorry, are you okay?”

“Yes,” she said, wanting the conversation to never end. She felt amazing! “It’s fine—I wasn’t paying attention to where I was going.”

They both stooped down and picked up Ayano’s fallen books—when he handed them to her, the feelings— _feelings?_ —deepened, the colors brightened impossibly more, and everything looked so clear, as if she had been living her entire life unable to see correctly and had just been given glasses. “Thank you,” she said.

“Your welcome.” He gave her a brief smile that made her light up and kept walking.

And the colors faded, things began to dim and blur and chill, but still Ayano’s heart pounded. She swallowed—her mouth was suddenly dry?—and finally realized how stupid she looked, just standing there in the hallway. She shuffled to the class she had been trying to get to earlier.

Usually, she could focus just fine in school, but even as the emotions and warmth faded, her thoughts managed to drift to the boy from the hallway.

When she got home from school, she almost—for the first time in her entire life—wished to see her mother and father. She never cared much for either of them, never cared much for anything, but her mother’s words from when she was younger rang in her head. She looked at her living room with a weird fondness she’d never had before. She could remember when she was fourteen, sitting on the couch beside her mother, who rested a hand on her knee and patted it gently as she explained that this was totally normal. It ran in the family the way girls ran in the family and one day, Ayano would feel and would love to be alive when she met that special someone.

Ayano wasn’t stupid—she had read romance novels popular among her school at that age in an attempt to fit in—or rather, not stand out. “Do you mean my soulmate?”

And her mother had shrugged. “In a way,” she had said. Her mother didn’t believe in a soul, just believed in love—she said Ayano would meet someone the way she did herself and the way her mother did, and her grandmother. She said she wanted her to be happy because she loved her dearly and it was a joy that everyone deserved to experience— _especially_ her beloved daughter and husband. She had said that one day, she’d feel and until then she just had to hang in there, and then she expressed gratitude for trying to act normal and keep her father from worrying.

She wanted to ask her mother about this, to ask if this was normal and admit that this was _amazing_ but she had no idea what to do, but alas.

Her parents had gone on vacation. It had been something of a last minute plan. She just remembered sitting in her bedroom, doing her homework when she had heard her mother sobbing relentlessly in the bathroom, as if her whole world was falling apart. She had poked her head out of her bedroom and saw her father in the hallway, urging her to come out and talk.

Her mother had refused.

So her father decided that maybe she was just a bit stressed and just needed a break, he said the two of them could go on vacation together, just the two of them, alone.

Her mother had taken a moment to calm down and then came out of the bathroom, her face red and tear streaked, but she smiled at her husband.

They had left the next morning, though her mother had momentarily freaked out because of Ayano’s first day of school that she’d miss while they were gone—and then she had missed that she’d be gone for so long, so much would happen and what if something bad happened? She had finally rushed to catch their plane after giving Ayano a long, tearful hug and forcing her to promise to call if anything bad happened.

Ayano still didn’t know what that was about. She never would have guessed someone could wail so loudly, but her mother had shrieked and cried like a banshee or ghost or something horrible and loud.

Ayano knew this had to be what she was talking about—this boy was the one.

She decided to confirm it the next day.

She played on her phone around the corner, a couple yards away from the boy, but within ear shot, and if she moved her head, he’d be within eyeshot. Her heart still pounded when she was in his presence. She realized she was being shy.

He was talking with someone—the girl with floor length pigtails. “I’m not sure, I haven’t found it yet. I think I dropped it when I helped another student I ran into with her books, but I can’t find her.”

It clicked he meant her. She looked at her books again—she hadn’t used them at all yesterday and hadn’t paid attention to them—one if them wasn’t her’s.

 _He held these books,_ she thought, almost astonished again. SHe turned the corner and looked at him. “Hello,” she greeted quietly.

”That’s her?” The girl in pigtails asked. Ayano couldn’t look at her, and she wanted to look at the boy in front of her, but she couln’t find the strength to raise her head, so she stared at the ground, at his shoes.

”It is.” He smiled at her—her heart might have been about to burst in her chest. “Hi. Um, I lost one of my books, I don’t suppose you have it on you? I think it got mixed up after I smacked into you.”

”Is this it?” She asked quietly, handing it to him. She should have looked at it, she thought.

”It is!” He accepted it. “Thank you so much. I’m Taro Yamada.”

”Ayano Aishi,” she responded, swallowing. The name sounded perfect in every way. She could imagine saying it, letting the words fall off her tongue.

”I really need to get to class, but thanks for returning my book.”

”It’s no problem.” She looked up. She nearly fainted but managed to scramble away from Taro. She rounded the corner and watched him pass, unaware of what he’d done to her, hurrying off to class. She did the same—but she had a weird spring in her step as she did it, one she didn’t think she had ever had before.

She spent a majority of the week stalking him. She had an obsession, that much she was aware of, but the feelings she got around him had a tendency to fade after a short amount of time away from him—the more time she spent around him, the longer they’d last, so she had to be somewhere where she could see him and feel the way he made her feel, without him noticing that she was so blatantly stalking him, for no other reason than to ogle and study him.

Then she got the texts from the school’s infamous Info-chan.


	2. Chapter 2

“Hey.”

It was a simple message, an unthreatening greeting—from a number Ayano didn’t know. Granted, she didn’t really have much numbers on her phone, just her mother and father’s, which was probably why she was surprised. “Do I know you?” She texted back.

“I saw you stalking an upperclassmen today.”

Ayano frowned. But _no one_ had seen her. The texts suddenly felt slightly threatening. That boy was the only one who made Ayano feel anything—she did not want word to get around she was a stalker, because then Taro would hate her and never be around her and she’d lose him. She decided that these were very thinly veiled threats and responded with one herself. “Do you have a problem with that?”

The next text came slowly, as if it’s sender didn’t actually care too much about this conversation. “No. I wanted to give you some information about the girl he was with.” Her frown deepened. She’d been wondering who the girl was, but had no way of figuring it out—she had been stalking him all week, and he had almost always been around the ginger with the freakishly long pigtails. “Her name is Osana Najimi. She has a crush on him.” Ayano kind of knew that already. That was the thing with the other students her age or anywhere around her age—once you had no emotions, they were easier to read than picture books and even the ones who thought they kept their emotions so well guarded wore their hearts on their sleeves if one had the eyes to find them and no emotions to cloud their judgment. Either way, Ayano had felt a weird fire consume her from inside her chest every time Osana looked at Taro—because she knew, and she wasn’t sure if she’d be able to stop it. “She believes in the myth about the cherry tree behind the school.”

The text send cubes of ice falling into her core, extinguishing the flames and freezing all of her organs—and Ayano was used to the cold. “The myth that if you confess your love to someone underneath the tree on a Friday, they are garunteed to accept your confession?” She realized the cold was fear. She hadn’t ever felt fear before.

She didn’t like it.

“Correct,” came the next one, then another. “She’s planning to confess to him next Friday.”

 _This is good to know,_ Ayano noted. “Why are you telling me this?”

The next text came quickly, as if maybe, the sender had already had it typed out. “I would be happy if something bad happened to Osana-chan.” Ayano narrowed her eyes, not sure what this meant. “I think you might be the right person to give her what she deserves.”

Ayano demanded in her next text, “Who are you?”

“I am the person nicknamed ‘Info-chan’ at school.”

Everyone knew about Info-chan—she was a myth surrounding the school, a rumor everyone heard of but no one could confirm, a student at Akademi who could do you favors at a price, but her currency was secrets and information. Although Ayano couldn’t exactly feel disgust, she knew what Info-chan did and knew it was considered wrong, so she didn’t really like her. It had never mattered, she was just a rumor. “I’ve heard rumors about you. You blackmail girls and sell panty shots to boys. Nobody knows your real name.”

“The rumors are true. If you ever need a favor, text me a panty shot, and I’ll give you whatever support I can. If you want to know personal information about anyone at our school, just send me a photograph of their face, and I’ll tell you everything I know about them.” Ayano doubted that last text was true—she’d probably say things, but not everything.

“You’re disgusting,” Ayano responded.

“You’re a stalker.”

Ayano pursed her lips, already thinking. “If you want my help,” came Info-chan’s next text. “Text me. If you don’t care, ignore me. You have one week until your precious Senpai belongs to Osana-chan.” Her final text was, “I hope you make her suffer.”

Ayano felt like this was the end of the conversation. She set her phone down on the table and rose up from the chair. It was late—she’d have to sleep if she was gonna get through class the next day. Thoughts of Osana’s long orange hair filled Ayano’s mind and as she fell asleep, she felt a strong urge to find the girl and strangle her to death with her own pigtails.

The moment she was on school campus, she heard her Senpai’s voice. “I’m sorry.” Immediately, Ayano followed the sound until she saw him, standing in front of Osana. She walked slowly and quietly over to them.

“I’m not your personal alarm clock, you know! You can’t rely on me to wake you up everyday!” Ayano fantasized about ripping Osana’s lips off of her face and feeding them to a cat.

She crouched beneath a bush as Senpai started talking again. “I’m sorry...if it bothers you so much, maybe we should stop walking to school together.”

 _Yes, do that,_ Ayano thought.

“N-No,” Osana stammered out, taking a step back and a step down. “That’s not what I...” The two stared at each other for a minute. “Just forget it, okay?!” She huffed and crossed her arms. Pink petals showered over the school grounds and over the two, Osana’s cheeks tinted just a bit red—because she was embarrassed or angry? Probably both, Ayano thought. “Anyway,” Osana started again. “I want you to meet me on the school rooftop at lunchtime, got it?”

“Huh? Why?” Senpai looked confused. Ayano was screaming in her head for Senpai to just refuse.

“Stop being so difficult!” Osana shouted—another wave of anger crashed over Ayano, setting her insides on fire. “Just be there, all right? And don’t keep me waiting!”

“Okay, okay—I’ll be there.”

“Good!” Osana grinned. Ayano realized, standing there, why someone might like Osana—with her long hair, thin waist and perfect teeth. That made her hate her even more. Ayano stayed behind the bush while they walked away, still talking, but not about anything else—Ayano wanted to know what was going to happen at lunchtime. She suddenly felt panic well up inside her.

Five days. She had five days until Friday and then Osana would confess...

She stayed in the bush a moment more, pulling out her phone. She swallowed—she did care. She cared, for once in her life, and she wasn’t about to let this slip from her hands, let this boy slip from her hands and into some other girl’s—because even if Osana did care about Taro, it wasn’t in the way Ayano did. Ayano needed him—Osana could find some other guy, Ayano couldn’t, Ayano would never be able to feel anything like this again.

“What exactly do you know about Osana Najimi?” She asked Info-chan

”She has a crush on your Senpai,” Info-chan responded quickly. “They've been childhood friends. She’s an only child. There is someone stalking her for some reason and if you were to just randomly attack her, they’d get to you first.”

”Who’s her stalker?” Ayano asked.

“A friend who’s always at her side, really. Just some girl.”

Ayano decided that didn’t matter too much. While her first thought was murder, she had to think—Senpai wouldn’t like that, probably, and it could effect him. Also, if she was arrested, Senpai probably would not like her as much. It’d be a hassle—finding a murder weapon, preventing finger prints, hiding the body, destroying evidence, taking care of witnesses, actually _doing_ the deed when the most she had ever done really was a kill a cat when she was younger in an attempt to feel something.

So, clearly, she couldn’t just slit Osana’s throat. “She’s gonna do something at lunch,” Ayano texted her. “What is that?”

”I should really be charging you for this information, you know.”

”You never said anything about a price for information on a student in any previous texts,” Ayano responded.

”She made him lunch,” Info-chan said. “And she’s gonna give it to him.”

Ayano tried to think. What could she do with that?

She put away her phone and uncrouched from the bushes, walking to class. She’d have to think of something—

She stopped in her tracks. Could she maybe _stop_ Osana from giving it to Senpai? Or sabotage it, somehow? She stopped going to class and pulled out her phone again. “I don’t suppose there’d be a chance I can get poison from you.”

”...Lethal poison?”

“No. Emetic.” Ayano had to think about this.

”That’s ten panty shots.”

Ayano inhaled through her nose and kept her phone in her hand, trying to find some lone, distracted girl she could stick her cellphone up the skirt of.

It took thirty minutes to get nine and she was going to need to get to class really soon, but she’d need to find a way to sneak poison into a lunch sooner than that, so who was gonna be the tenth person? At the very least, she couldn’t feel ashamed about what she was doing as she went into a bathroom stall. She couldn’t feel embarrassed, but she knew that anyone else who took a panty shot of their own panties probably would be. Info-chan didn’t comment on it, though.

She scrambled to find the correct window and the poison laying in the grass.

She found Osana quickly—and noted the girl who stood by her, with short ponytails held in scrunchies—looking at two bento boxes.

It was obvious which one was meant to be Osana’s and which was Ayano’s Senpai’s—Osana’s was pink, and Senpai’s blue, not to mention he neat label on it that read “Taro” in cursive. From where she was, she watched Osana bite her lip, mutter something and turn around before she started walking away for a reason Ayano didn’t know, her friend trailing behind. This was literally the perfect time.

She moved as quickly as she dared when she was still trying to be quiet and pulled the cap off the small bottle before she opened the blue bento box. She tilted the bottle, then froze.

What if it was actually lethal poison, and Info-chan had made a mistake, or meant to take Senpai away from her? And even then, what if Senpai got really sick? Would he be okay?

She frowned and then closed Senpai’s bento.

Only to open Osana’s and hurry to class.

It was a miracle she wasn’t caught.

At lunch, she went to the rooftop and spied on the two. She still felt something in her stomach twist when Osana spoke to him, when she held out the box and Taro _accepted_ it. Osana stammered out something Taro didn’t hear and sat down beside him, opening her bento. Ayano waited.

It barely took a minute.

Osana’s face went the wrong shade and she stood up quickly. “Osana?” Taro asked.

”I...I’ll be right back.” She didn’t have her usual aggressive tone and without another word, walked away very briskly, her hand on her stomach. Ayano followed slowly behind, trying not to make it obvious she was following her, though few people looked either of their way.

She was right behind Osana when she forced the bathroom door open. It was totally empty. She opened a stall and didn’t even have the time to close it before falling to her knees and vomiting into the toilet. Ayano frowned with disgust as her rival retched. She quietly took a step towards Osana. All she had to now was reach out—reach out and shove Osana’s head into the bowl and keep it there, and watch her struggle.

The door to the bathroom swung open and in the corner of her eye, Ayano saw a figure again. It looked like what she was doing was threatening, so instead of drowning Osana, she pulled her hair back. One of her pigtails was coming undone anyway and this didn’t look threatening at all.

Her body shook. She spat and pulled away before turning around to face Ayano, still pale and shaking. “Wh—“

She handed Osana the thing she had in her hand. “You dropped this while you were running.” In reality, she had taken if off just a second ago when Osana was puking, but she clearly didn’t need to know that. It was a tiny bow hair clip.

”Oh.” Osana wiped at her mouth with her arm. “Thanks.”

”Are you okay?” She asked.

”Not really, but uh, thanks for asking.” Ayano got to her feet and offered a hand to Osana. “Thanks.”

She shook on her feet. “Ugh...” She looked ready to drop, but she let go of Ayano’s hand and moved towards one of the sinks on her own, turning on the water and washing her hands before nearly dropping again.

Ayano hesitated. “Come on, let’s get you to the nurse’s office,” she sighed. That seemed like something a normal school girl would do, and Ayano had always been trying to act like a normal school girl—that hadn’t changed, even when she was so close to her one chance of being normal and this girl stood in the way. She helped escort Osana, biting her tongue.

”Thanks, Yan-chan,” she said.

”People still call me that?” She asked.

”Yeah, from when we were all like, seven. ...I was actually really mean to you back then.”

”Everyone was,” Ayano said. She hadn’t been like them. She hadn’t yet actually try to be normal.

”I’m sorry.”

”It never really bothered me.” She still wanted to murder Osana, but now she was walking through crowded hallways and stairwells. She missed her chance.

”Still though. It was pretty lousy.”

”We were kids.” The nurse’s office was in sight. Ayano just wanted Osana to stop talking.

”Sorry, I’m rambling...” She turned and looked over her shoulder. “Really, though, Ayano, I owe you one.”

 _You owe me, Senpai,_ she thought, angrily. _You owe me your life._ After the nurse started tending to her, Ayano made a move to leave—only for Osana to shoot her a friendly smile. Ayano hated her even more. All she could feel for her was hatred.

She didn’t have the slightest clue what the fuck Info-chan gave her.


	3. Chapter 3

Since apparently murder was out of the question, Ayano spent the entire night trying to find a way to stop Osana. Someone was always around her, it seemed. She found it strange how easy it had been to get close to Osana, how she had just let Ayano touch her, get near her. No one had ever wanted to get near Ayano, at least, not that close. She had seen students all around school who got close to each other. Osana was always near Senpai for one thing. And then there was another girl—one with purple twin drills and large breasts—always hanging around a girl with hair longer than Osana’s. There was the pair of sisters always on the rooftop, and Ayano swore she had even seen some of the stern, strict, cold teachers laugh in the hallways together. It was obvious, when people trusted someone—and could feel emotions, apparently—they wanted to be around them.

But Osana and Ayano weren’t close, that was the thing that bothered her. And yet, Osana just _let_ her hold back her hair as she vomited, and let her walk her to the Nurse’s office and she had _smiled_ at her as she left. So, up to a certain point, Osana clearly trusted her. Maybe, she could do something to get her trust her a bit more, and take advantage of that. To Ayano, that wasn’t really manipulative, as far as she was concerned, this was how friendship worked. It was a trade of sorts, a deal. You did things for someone, they did things for you, you hung out occasionally or shared things, or just both enjoyed each other’s prescience.

She found Osana at her locker. It was incredibly easy to find her, with her long, orange pigtails—no one at school had hair like that. “Hi, Osana-chan.” She wondered if that was too much, but Osana had called her Yan-chan.

She jerked away from her lockers, turned around and blinked. “Oh, hi, Yan-chan.”

“I was just wondering if you were feeling okay,” Ayano said. It wasn’t really a lie. She was slightly curious—if Osana was perhaps, weaker than usual, than maybe Ayano _could_ kill her.

“Yeah, I’m feeling a lot better, thanks for asking.”

Ayano paused. “Do you need help with anything?”

“Well, now that you mention it...” Osana frowned and bit her lip before continuing. “Yeah, there is something I need help with. I lost my phone charm, it’s in the shape of a cat.” Ayano nodded. “I know that I lost it somewhere in the hedge maze—but I don’t want to go back in there. It’s scary! I’m worried I’ll get lost and be stuck in there for hours...I feel bad for asking, especially after yesterday, but...would you be willing to go into the hedge maze and get my phone charm for me?”

“Sure,” Ayano said, offering a small smile. “I can do that.”

“Really? You’ll do it? Wow, you’re a lot more brave than I am.”

Ayano rolled her eyes. “I don’t even know the definition of fear,” she said, in a tone she thought was joking.

Osana grinned. “Good luck.”

Ayano had never been inside the maze before, she hadn’t ever felt any need to. She didn’t know why anyone would go into the maze, or why there was even a maze at school that students could easily get lost in, but other than confusion, she felt nothing when she entered it. She decided to text Info-chan while she wandered.

“What did you give me yesterday?”

“Emetic poison, like you asked.”

“Was that really all that was?”

“Yes.”

Ayano frowned. Info-chan did say she wanted Osana to suffer—but at first, Ayano was going to use it on Senpai.

“What do you have against Osana Najimi?” She asked.

“I could ask you the same.”

Ayano decided she wasn’t willing to share this—Info-chan wouldn’t understand and she didn’t need to know anything other than what she already knew, and she already knew too much. “Who’s that girl who’s always around Osana?”

”Her name is Raibaru Fumetsu. She was president of the Martial Arts club last year, before one of her pupils—Budo Masuta, the current martial arts club president—beat her, destroying her 100% win streak, because he had a crush on her and wanted to impress her. She stepped down to pursue other hobbies, and he became president. After that, she started hanging out with Osana Najimi and they grew very close, to the point where they started wearing and sharing similar accessories. She is invincible. You do NOT want to get on her bad side, and don’t try to kill her—she’ll snap your neck like a twig, and if she catches you even entertaining the thought of murdering Osana-chan, she will apprehend you, and you’ll spend the rest of your life not only behind bars, but in a wheelchair and away from your precious Senpai.”

”You didn’t think of mentioning that Osana’s stalker used to be the Martial Arts club president?” There was no response, so she just put her phone away and tried to convince herself that that feeling gnawing at her was a familiar emptiness from being away from Senpai, and not another, _new_ emotion.

It took her a matter of minutes to find the phone charm, an orange, cutesy cat on a keychain. _How could someone get lost in here?_ Ayano wondered. Was Osana just dense?

She found her way out easily, the phone charm in her hand as she walked to Osana’s classroom. She was talking with another girl—one with shorter, curled pigtails held by scrunchies and a gentle smile. She seemed incredibly, ridiculous cutesy. Osana turned once she approached. “Oh my gosh! You actually found it! That’s amazing, thank you so much!”

”It wasn’t any problem,” Ayano responded, studying Raibaru behind Osana. She looked normal. She didn’t even seem to have any sort of muscles and she was thin too, and freakishly pale. Then again, Ayano was pretty pale. “What exactly were you doing in the hedge maze?”

Osana shook her head. “Ugh...Rival-chan and I—“ She gestured to Raibaru behind her who offered a small, friendly wave to Ayano. “—were...well, she’s trying to help me with self-defense and stuff, and I have like, _no_ upper body strength whatsoever, so she’s trying to help me.”

”Oka Ruto—the president of the Occult club,” Raibaru said, her voice just as cutesy as her appearance. “Was talking about how she had a nightmare where she saw a student—dressed in a school uniform just like ours—sacrifice members of the Occult club to contact a demon, and on top of that, there’s rumors that people here are dangerous.”

”What do you mean?” Ayano asked.

”Like, you know how Oka believes that the Basu sisters are supernatural, Inkyu being a vampire and all. Not to mention, there’s a rumor someone started that one female student here stalks a guy.”

Ayano tried to make it obvious she hadn’t froze at that. “What?”

”There isn’t much, it’s just a rumor—I don’t think anyone we know would ever stalk someone, that’s just...” Raibaru shook her head. “It’s just a rumor.”

Ayano felt threatened. “I need to get to class. I’ll see you some other time, Osana, Raibaru.”

”Bye, Yan-chan!”

Ayano swallowed so hard it was a miracle she didn’t swallow her tongue. Senpai—her only chance of being happy or being _anything—_ and the incredibly weak, trusting, easy to dispose of school girl in her way just so happened to be best friends with the strongest girl in the entire school. Osana might as well walk the halls with an armed body guard. _Okay, okay...how do I get her away from Osana...?_

She bit her lip. Budo Masuta was known to always hang around his club room. She tried to think. The Martial Arts club would make her stronger, for sure...And he basically welcomed anyone into the club, he was very friendly. She tried to remember where the club room was.

He stood in his club room with the other members of the club, a tall student with messy dark hair, a white headband and a red armband in the usual school uniform. He grinned when he say Ayano, but to her, it seemed fake. He probably grinned at everyone who entered the room. “Welcome to the Martial Arts club! What brings you here?”

”Hi,” Ayano said. It was like the other people in the room, turned to look at her when she entered, and she couldn’t remember a time where that many amount of people had looked at her in such a way. She kept in mind where they were around the room. “Um...I think I might be interested in joining the Martial Arts club?”

“That’s great! We study hand to hand combat and practice self-defense techniques. If you join our club, I can garuntee that you’ll be able to protect yourself against anyone who tries to hurt you. If you think you got what it takes, you’re welcome to spar with any of our members at any time, even if you’re not in our club? What’s gotten you such an interest suddenly?”

”...I feel like I have to join a club at some point,” Ayano said. “I’ve heard really good things about this one, in particular, and...I’m just...really weak, as it is.”

Budo was still wearing that grin. Ayano wondered if it was made of plastic. “All we ask is that you show up at least once a week!”

Ayano nodded. “I think I can do that.”

”Fantastic! You are now an official member of the Martial Arts club! I’m looking forward to teaching you everything I know!”

”As am I,” Ayano smiled. He had no idea. No seemed to have any idea—rumors or no.


	4. Chapter 4

There was an ache in her entire body as she texted Info-chan. She had been sparring with Budo nonstop, and by the look of it, it didn’t seem to tire him out any. It might have actually energized him. Ayano hadn’t ever felt any sort of urge to exercise or grow stronger, but she had been trying to spar with Budo and the other club members whenever possible, and of course, Budo had still been so friendly. Ayano could see right through him—this was a facade for sure. If you treated everyone like a friend, how did you treat your friends? There was no way Budo could actually be so nice to everyone. Ayano saw their relationship as an exchange, of course—Ayano would participate in club activities. She’d grow stronger and get better and be a club member and in return, Budo would be that plastic type of friendliness and help her achieve her grow, all while offering Ayano his trust.

That’d be a mistake on his part.

Ayano was at an advantage here. No student at Akademi had managed to get Budo to actually admit having feelings for Raibaru. He didn’t admit to anything, but he didn’t tell people they were wrong, he just changed the subject. Ayano felt there had to be something, especially since Info-chan said so, but with how Budo acted, it made the whole thing a mystery. Maybe Raibaru didn’t even exist and she was nothing but a figment of Ayano’s imagination. But no one was quite like Ayano—she could read someone like a book, and this school was a library she spent a ton of time at. She was surrounded by books she had never had any sort of urge to read, but there was one book she wanted to burn, and if in order to start the fire for that book, she had to use a few other, meaningless books as kindling, she was already ripping the pages out of their covers and ruining their spines, soaking their pages in gasoline as she readied her matches. 

She felt no guilt knowing she was manipulating Budo—acting like a friend, but not being. But he was doing the same—he didn’t actually care for her, did he? He acted like he did, but Ayano knew the truth, and the truth was no one did anything just out of the kindness of their hearts. Even people who claimed they did good things because it made them feel good, they got something out of it, didn’t they? And Ayano had no feelings to gain or to hinder her.

”I need red paint and a spare uniform.”

“Join the art club.”

”I joined the Martial Arts club.”

”I am very much aware.”

”How much pictures of girls’ underwear do I need to send you?”

There was a moment of hesitation. “This one’s free. Don’t get used to it.”

Even though Ayano couldn’t hear her voice, she felt that if she could, her tone would imply that this was not free. It did not feel free. Senpai was the only one so far who could make her feel anything, but she swore she felt something when Info-chan and her exchanged texts, and it wasn’t a pleasant feeling. She’d feel cold, and the dark, grim way she saw the world seemed to get a bit darker, a bit more grim.

She went back to the window again, where Info-chan threw every purchase out of. Ayano looked up and, very faintly, she could see a silhouette standing by the window—a student, Ayano thought. Most likely a girl, around her age, but she couldn’t see color, or details. The feeling she shouldn’t have intensified until she tore her gaze away, stooped down and grabbed the objects that lay in the grass. A bucket of paint and a school uniform, for a female student. She just had to do somethings to get Osana’s trust, and this seemed to be one of those things.

Osana was on the rooftop, talking with Raibaru a small distance away from Senpai. Ayano gazed in his general direction for a brief moment, but looked away quickly, even though she could have spent all day staring at him if he’d let her. She stayed at the door that lead to the stairs and placed the open bucket of paint. Above the door, where it leaned against the frame and wall and rested on the door that was almost closed but not quite. She frowned. How was she certain Osana would be the one to walk through these doors?

She paused. _She didn’t._ At all. Did she just waste her time?

She heard someone’s cell phone ring, followed by Osana’s, “Oh, I should go take this.” And then she was walking to the door...

Osana walked right through the doors to go down the stairs, the paint spilling all over her and staining her uniform, because apparently, Ayano was just really lucky. Osana stopped in her tracks, somehow not noticing Ayano standing three inches away from her. “What the hell?!” Osana shouted, looking a herself. The paint bucket was next to her feet, on the side, and her phone had dropped from her hand to land in a puddle of red. “Ugh...I can’t go to class like this.”

She followed behind at a distance as Osana ran to the locker room, people looking at her and whispering as she passed by.

It kind of looked like Osana was covered in blood.

Even from the entrance of the locker room, she could hear Osana’s muttering as she looked at her locker contents.

”Osana?”

She whirled around, drops of scarlet surrounding her eyes and in her hair. “Oh, hi, Yan-chan.”

”I uh, saw the paint fall on you. At least, I assume that’s paint.” She cleared her throat and handed the folded school uniform to Osana.

”Oh, you’re literally a life saver, Yan-chan!” She exclaimed. “But, I’m going to have to wash all this paint off of me...” She sighed.

”Also, you dropped your phone.”

Osana flushed. “Of course I did.” The screen was lit up, a notification alerting the reader to a missed call. “Thank you so much, Yan-chan. You’re...a lot friendlier than I would have thought.”

She wasn’t sure if she should reply with a “thank you,” so she didn’t.

“Hey, Osana...” She hesitated. She didn’t really know how to communicate with the other students, she had never felt any urge to do so, or to learn to do so. At best, she’d come off as shy and awkward. At worse, she’d come off as asocial and stupid. “There’s something I’ve been meaning to talk to you about.”

”What is it?”

”It’s um...” She bit her lip. “Is there a chance I could get you to come over to my house tonight and we could talk? It’s...really important and...”

Osana smelled like Senpai, Ayano realized. She didn’t just smell like him, it was like, she had some sort of connection to him, carried around a piece of him on her, but not in a pocket or on her person, inside her. Her mouth felt dry, and she felt herself grow just a bit warmer. Her surroundings seemed quite a bit brighter than they should have been, had they been like that before and she just never noticed? How could she not notice?

For a minute, she actually realized something, but something she already knew—she was trying to manipulate Osana. She had been spending her time trying to earn her trust and trying to find a way to eliminate the competition for someone else. Osana was trusting her—no had ever really given Ayano their trust like this, and Ayano was trying to use her. Osana actually seemed really nice, and she seemed to think the same of Ayano. Could she really do this?

 _Senpai’s more important,_ she decided. Plus, the way Senpai made her feel was stronger than the way Osana could make her feel. She was just an obstacle.

She was in her way.

”I...don’t know. I was going to hang out with Raibaru today, after school...but I might be able to find the time.” She bit her lip.

”I know you and Raibaru don’t really go anywhere without each other, but...just this once, Osana. It’s really important.”

She nodded. “Alright. When?”

”Does seven work for you?”

”Yeah. Sure. What’s your address?”

”Just give me your number, I’ll text you it.”

Osana smiled. “Alright, just give me a minute, I need to clean up, and...I’m gonna be late to class.”

”We’re in the same class. I’ll tell the teacher what happened. See you later, Osana.”

”Bye, Yan-Chan!”

She sighed as she peeled herself off of the ground. “You’re the club leader for a reason,” she said, as she stood on her feet. “Geez. I couldn’t land a hit on you.”

He flashed a friendly smile. “But you’re getting better!”

”Thank you.”

There was a pause as she caught her breath. She was going to have to leave soon, but she still hadn’t gotten a chance to actually talk to Budo about anything. “So, I understand this is a really sensitive topic for you, and I understand why, it’s just...” He was looking at her curiously now. “It’s just my friend—I don’t even know if she’s my friend—but she has a friend, and I’ve heard...rumors about her.”

”What do you mean?” Budo asked.

”I’m talking about The Invincible Rival.”

He blinked. “What is there to talk about? She was the club president before me, she was powerful and strong and great, and she decided she was done.”

”Because you beat her.”

”Yes.”

”...It’s just, the friend I was talking about...she has a crush on the same guy as me,” Ayano said, and it wasn’t a lie. “I want to impress him and grab his attention, but...I don’t know. I heard a rumor that you beat Raibaru because you wanted to impress her, because you had feelings for her.”

Budo looked at her. “Why are you bringing this up?”

”...I need support,” Ayano said. “And I thought, maybe you could help me? You’ve always been so friendly. I thought, maybe, you could help a friend out?”

He bit his lip.

”I don’t want to pry,” she lied. “But...can you tell me some stuff about her?”

”What do you want me to tell you?”

”Like...I don’t mean to be rude, she seems cool, but you’re pretty popular, and—assuming these rumors are true—you could have liked any girl and had a shot with them. Why her? How did she grab your attention? Did you grab hers? I just...want to know.”

He crossed his arms and sighed. “It’s...not well-known throughout the school, but some people know...my parents don’t really approve over my interest in martial arts. I don’t know why. They just don’t like it. And, I’m not really the rebellious type and I love both my parents, but every time they bring up something about martial arts, I always tend to like it more. It gives me some sort of control, some sort of strength...” He sighed. “I was bullied a lot before I got here. Being in this club makes me feel stronger. And when Raibaru was president, she was always pushing for people to do better. She always seemed really...” He flushed. “Cute, you know? Girly, feminine. That’s not common with a lot of girls in martial arts, and of course, there’s nothing wrong with it! But it was different. And everyone seemed to think a girl couldn’t wear a skirt and still be so strong, me included. And then, you know...she wore these girly hairpins to keep her hair out of her face, they were all pink and glittery and she was wearing pink eyeshadow and lipstick—and she could have beaten me with both hands tied behind her back.

”She still liked so many girly things, but she was still amazing and strong. I feel so stupid for saying this, but I can still remember laying on the floor, while she stood above me, and...I remember she was wearing a really awful perfume. And she helped me get better at martial arts. I...wanted to get closer to her. She was interesting. It was that weird interest that didn’t seem to have any sort of reasoning or logic behind it, but it was there all the same, and I knew I wasn’t feminine, so I figured I could try to get even better at martial arts, which I already wanted to do, and maybe if I beat the strongest person in the club—her—I could impress her and we could, just, bond over our love of martial arts.”

”But you beat her,” Ayano said. “What happened? How did you beat her?”

”I got her to take a wrong step, to trip. She was off her feet. It mostly felt like luck—like, I know I can be taken down, but Raibaru is indestructible. At first, I thought I did something wrong. She congratulated me, and then, the next day, she stepped down as club president. I assumed that I had upset her. Martial arts was a part of her identity, and I felt like I had taken that away from her. But, then about a week later, I saw her walking the halls, a flower in her hair and she was grinning ear from ear. Turns out, she felt like she was neglecting another side of her because she put so much effort in martial arts, the more feminine and gentle side of her. She wanted to cook, or garden, or draw, but she felt like she had to stay, had to keep fighting, because the fact that she was unbeatable was a part of her identity, how she was viewed. When I took that away...she said she felt free. Said that she felt like she was so worried about what people would think of her, and I helped her escape her own restrictions.

”And then we just stopped talking. We didn’t have any sort of way to converse because all we had together was the club and...that was it. And I just lost my nerve to tell her how I felt.”

”Wow. I’m sorry, Budo.”

He shrugged. “There’s plenty more fish in the sea, and it’s okay, I just kind of regret not telling her.”

”Do...you still have feelings for her?”

He nodded. “I definitely do.”

”You should tell her. Confess to her under the cherry tree on Friday.”

”Ayano, this isn’t an anime. I don’t think that rumor is even remotely true, it’s like Info-chan, or the ghosts in the girl’s bathroom.”

”Isn’t it worth a shot, though?” Ayano asked. “Maybe don’t do it Friday, try for tomorrow! Or, you could just send her a note, telling her to meet you somewhere that doesn’t have to be the tree and tell her then. Ask her if she’s interested in a sparring match after school, you can catch up.”

”That’s...a really good idea. Thank you.”

”Your welcome.”

”Do you mind my asking who’s the guy you like then, since now you know everything about me and Raibaru?”

”You probably don’t know him, he’s actually...I know he’s average, but I still think he’s perfect, you know? He isn’t very athletic.”

”Then I probably don’t know him. But, just a bit of advice, Ayano—don’t stress too much over impressing him. I mean, I tried to impress my crush and that only drove us further apart.”

”I don’t know...I’m not trying to impress him, it’s more like...just...trying to make sure the other girl doesn’t get him and I have a better chance than her?” She realized how horrible that probably sounded.

”Well...I mean, if it comes down to it, the two of you could probably fight it out and you’d win.” He laughed. “But don’t actually do that. Don’t worry, Ayano, you’re smarter than me, you’ll figure it out.”

”Thank you, Budo. I need to get going, I’m having company over, I’ve stayed way too long.”

”See you tomorrow.”

”So, what is it you wanted to talk about, Yan-chan?”

Osana sat across from her, legs crossed at the ankles. Instead of wearing her school uniform, though, she wore a pink off shoulder top and white leggings. She seemed slightly nervous.

”It’s...about the boy you like. Taro Yamada. He’s a year older than us.”

”What?”

”I know you have a crush on him. I...I have very strong feelings for him. I understand that you’ve been friends for a long time.”

She blushed. “A long time is an understatement,” Osana confessed. “My earliest memory of my childhood has him in it. We used to play in the park together, me, him, and his sister.”

Ayano tried not to react to the news that he had a sister. She filed the information away for later.

”He’s always been my closest friend. We walked to school together everyday, we lived next to each other always. He...I couldn’t imagine my life without him. I keep...wanting to tell him, but every time I think about opening my mouth, I think ‘What if I say something stupid and he thinks of me as an idiot?’ Or ‘What if he realizes that I like him and things between us are never the same?’ I...need him in my life.”

”Osana...” She swallowed. There was that feeling again, the feeling that let her feel emotions, and right now, she was feeling guilt. She was trying to ask someone who cared so much about Senpai to end her pursuit of him. “I know of your plan to confess to him on Friday.”

”Wha—“

She kept talking. “I...have incredibly strong feelings for him. I’ve never felt this way about anyone before.”

Osana blinked. “Do...you even know him?”

”I...” She blinked. She hadn’t even known he had had a sister.

”I’m sorry, you were talking?”

”Osana, I...need him. In a way I’ve never needed anything before.” She rethought carefully of what to say next. “I’ve always been alone. I struggle with making relationships with anyone, I don’t have any friends, I’ve never had any boyfriends or anything like that. But, Osana...I love him, and I...feel similar to him like you do.”

Osana blinked again, as if what she was seeing didn’t quite make any sense. “For what it’s worth, I consider you one of my friends. I think you’re really nice, Ayano, and I’d love to hang out with you. At school, you’ve always seemed so...unapproachable. Deadpan. Monotone. But you’ve been so kind to me. But if you’re asking me to just not confess the feelings I’ve harbored for years, I have to say that I...” She seemed to rethink something. “I can’t do that for you, Ayano.”

She wasn’t feeling guilt anymore. She was scared, terrified. “Osana, please, you don’t understand...”

”Ayano, I’ve known him since I was _five._ I’ve had a crush on him since the end of middle school. I care about you, but...I can’t.” It clicked that there was something else she wanted to say, but was somehow managing to cover it up.

”You mean something else. Be straight with me, Osana.”

”Yan-chan...I care more about him than I do you. A few acts of kindness and a favor or two isn’t going to make me give up on Senpai in the name of friendship.”

She tried to think. She didn’t want to hurt Osana. Hurting her would be like hurting a piece of Senpai. “Osana...” She bit her lip.

It felt like some sort of unspoken rule in her house to not tell anyone about the girl’s of the family’s “condition.” After her father quit taking her to doctors, she never felt any need to bring it up or talk about it—with her parents, with anyone. And even if she did, she always felt like her mother wouldn’t enjoy her bringing it up. So she never had.

But this was her last chance. Not Ayano’s, but Osana’s.

”I’ve...never told anyone about this, but...I’m desperate. There’s this thing running in my family, I suppose. I’ve been numb, ever since I was a child. I was born...broken.”

She looked at Osana and she nodded. “I’m listening.”

”My mom told me it...was normal. That one day, I’d meet someone who would make me feel something, because that’s what happened for her. And for her mother. I looked forward to that day for years. Everything blurred together. It was all I had to look forward to. And then I finally met him.

”That someone I was supposed to meet was Taro Yamada, Osana. He’s...He’s the only thing that makes my life worth living, the only thing that actually makes me live, otherwise I’m just...existing. And I’m not happy about it either. I can’t...”

”Ayano, I...had no idea. I’m sorry, but Taro...he’s never gonna feel the same way for you as you do for him. And I genuinely care about you, but...”

”Osana...”

”I’m so sorry, Yan-chan.” She stood up. “I...I need to get going. I’m sorry!”

Ayano raced to her feet to try and stop her. “OSANA, WAIT!”

She was already out the door and there was no way Ayano would be able to catch up to her. What could she do, anyway?

She slammed the door shut, feeling anger consume her, like when she first realized Osana was a threat. She wanted to scream. She wanted to hurt someone, or something, but she couldn’t _do that._ She grabbed her keys and went out the door. She needed to go for a walk, or something.

Osana was already gone, nowhere in sight. She made some sort of frustrated noise and ran a hand through her hair. She just started walking in a random direction—getting lost would be the least of her worries right now.


	5. Chapter 5

Ayano’s mother used to take her out for runs.

It was some sort of bonding time for the two of them, except Ayano never really grew super fond of her mother, and her mother was just always so fond of Ayano, she was pretty sure it was impossible for her mother to like her any more. She was thinking about that as she ran, about how her mother would jog and hold onto Ayano’s tiny hand and would always push Ayano to go faster, longer, but would stop when she started to tire or complain and pick her up—even when she was like, thirteen—and kiss her forehead like she was a baby.

Actually, come to think of it, her mother was much stronger and faster than you’d expect, especially from a woman in her forties with a curvy figure.

Ayano had ran a lot, even without her mother. It made it seem like she had hobbies, so doing this felt almost natural.

The burning heat in her chest, rising into her throat to form a lump she couldn’t swallow, however, didn’t.

She finally came to a stop and tried to think about how stupid she had been and was being, standing out there in the middle of the night, in a tank top and athletic pants. She knew bad people roamed the streets, they could find her—they could hurt her. But she didn’t feared them—she feared whatever tomorrow would bring.

Reality seemed to crush her at the moment, everything was a lot worse than it should have been. She could lose Senpai. She could lose the only reason to keep living.

She leaned up against the side of a building, a store, she was pretty sure and sighed. She must have looked crazy—she kept running her hands through her ponytail, it must have looked messy. She wasn’t one to feel self-conscious—or feel—but at the moment, she felt so unbelievably stupid. _What if Senpai saw me like this?_

“Aishi?”

She jerked around, her eyes widening, and then seriously wished she had a hairbrush. “Oh, hi, Taro-senpai.” The words came out of her mouth easily— _Taro._ He had the most perfect name. ( _Actually,_ she noted. _That’s a very uncreative name. It’s really average.)_

Taro smiled at her and she nearly swooned. “What are you doing out here?”

”Going for a run,” she answered, almost casually. “I probably shouldn’t, but...I have a lot of energy at the moment.”

Taro nodded. “I get the feeling. I usually go on walks at this time. It’s like, right when everyone’s trying to sleep, I suddenly feel like I have to do _something.”_

“Ha, yeah...” Ayano smiled and tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear. “So...how’ve you been?”

”Restless,” Taro sighed. “It feels like something bad is going to happen, and I don’t like it. Do you feel that way?”

”As a matter of fact, I do,” she admitted, but it came out quiet.

”Everywhere I turn at school, it seems like everyone feels the same. Osana said she had a really bad feeling. I don’t understand it.”

”I don’t, either.”

She realized that potentially, this could be romantic—standing on the street with a sky full of stars and a pale, full moon above them, Taro clad in a white, button up shirt and black pants. She blushed. She kind of looked like a mess at the moment. “T-Taro...” She flushed.

He looked at her.

”How exactly would you describe your relationship with Osana?”

He paused. “Well...we’ve been friends for as long as I can remember. My earliest memory is actually of the two of us playing in her backyard. She’s my best friend and...yeah, I really care about her. Why do you ask?”

”She’s pretty cool,” Ayano said. “I think she’s nice.”

”She is. Well, sometimes. She’s always been kind of harsh on me, like a lot. Like, you know tsunderes on anime? That’s her. She even looks a lot like one, ha! But I couldn’t imagine my life without her, even if she can be rude at times.” He frowned. “She’s been acting different lately.”

”She has?”

”Yeah. She’s...been all...quiet, sometimes around me. Or she just won’t talk. I’m starting to wonder if I’ve done something. Recently, she’s been hanging out with...you know, the Indestructible Rival. She’s alright, but I’ve always got the feeling that maybe she...doesn’t like me, and now that she’s friends with Osana...” He frowned again. “I feel...really average.”

”Yeah?”

”Yeah. Like, average in every way. I don’t even have something below average to stick out about me, and it’s like...have you noticed how everyone at Akademi is...different? Everyone has colored hair, cool hairstyles, some sort of defining mannerism. And I’m just there. Reading. Sitting at the fountain. Things are weird now.”

”Yeah,” Ayano kind of squeaked. “I get the feeling. Like, what you just said, that’s what I’m feeling. Like, those are basically the words in my head but coming out of your mouth, that sounds really weird, but like, I totally get what you mean.” Her face flushed. She seriously wished she could hold her Senpai close and tight and let him know he was perfect, but there was no way she could. She’d drop dead from embarrassment if she took one step closer, or maybe her heart would just burst in her chest.

Taro smiled at her. “Alright then. I should probably head home. I’ll see you at school, Yan-chan.”

 _Yah-chan! He called me Yan-chan!_ And then in her head, she was kind of just screaming. “Bye, Senpai,” she said quietly before running home.

She found herself tossing and turning in bed. She couldn’t sleep. She just heard Taro’s voice, “ _I’ll see you at school, Yan-chan.”_ Everyone called her Yan-chan, but she had never thought of Taro as _everyone,_ to her, he was leagues above, worth so much more than everyone in the entire school. She felt warm, even hours after their encounter. She found herself going to her computer desk.

Her computer was shut off, which was fine, she didn’t want to use it, anyway. She felt her face heat up as she turned on a lamp she kept by the desk and grabbed a piece of pink paper.

She knew she’d never give it to him. It was obvious. It’d never happen. But wasn’t that how people dealt with things? They’d find some sort of outlet, like writing about it. Her mother had given her a diary when she was younger and she had written a few, meaningless entires, a couple reminders, but never anything like what her mother or father really wanted. But this was the first time when she found actual words holding a sort of meaning, and she had no idea what to write.

Would it be stupid to use “dear” at the beginning? Did she use his first name? His last? Both? Just call him “Senpai?” Her mother always called her father “darling,” like all the time. Her father...

Ayano frowned. She remembered the two...talking. They had left for the airport...to go to America, to go to the US. But they had come back in a matter of hours.

She had never seen her parents really fight like that before. Even when her father took her to all those appointments and he was so concerned over her and her mother wasn’t worried at all, and they had fought then, it was nothing like what it had been then. Even those fights in her childhood ended. They never argued, but it never seemed like that was because they got a long all the time. That had been the first time in _years,_ the first time in a _decade_ where they had fought.

Her mother locked herself in the bathroom and cried for hours. But there was something else too. Something that Ayano’s father had brought up to make her like that.

She remembered standing in the doorway of her room, watching her father talk to the bathroom door. _What’s..._ She had been kind of confused. Her voice had been quiet, but her father turned around to face her quickly. _What’s going on...?_

Her father sighed and looked kind of empathetic. _You’re mother is struggling with some things right now. She..._ He had sighed. _It’s nothing, sweetheart._ He had always called her sweetheart, and she didn’t know why. She was pretty sure it had started when her father started doing everything to make her happy. Desserts, toys, constantly spoiling her and telling her how much he cared about her only to get no real reaction. _Everything’s fine. Why don’t you Just...play a video game or something? Do you want to leave the house, you can hang out with some friends or something. It’s nothing to worry about._

She had known it was something to worry about, but had dropped it, retreating back in her room like nothing was wrong. She still checked occassionally—she hadn’t heard them make up, but exited her room when the screaming stopped to see her mother, glassy eyed with a red nose and a thin smile, hugging her husband tightly and then let go to hug Ayano tightly. She had still seen her father’s worried expression as he left to his and Ayano’s mother’s room.

Ayano’s father had been the one to save Ayano’s mother from the horrible, numb, boredom and melancholy of life only to have a child like _her._ She wondered; if her and Taro ended up together, would they have children? Would they be like Ayano and her mother?

Would that be such a bad thing?

She wouldn’t empathize with a random person, but someone who had fifty percent of her own DNA and Senpai’s? She’d probably love them the way her mother loved her, but...she could remember all those nights she spent in her room, staring at the ceiling, resenting her very existence, wanting to meet her savior already. Did she want that kid to go through that?

Well, if her and Senpai ended up happily together, she was sure she’d want a child in that happiness.

 _Senpai,_ was how she chose to start the note.

_You probably don’t know who I am, and...I think that’s best for now. Every time I’m around you, I feel my heart start to pound as if, in my entire life, it’s never beaten. I always feel so cold, but not when I’m around you. I want to tell you how I feel—I feel that you’re perfect, flawless. I feel like I finally have something in my life to look forward to after all these years, and—_

This was stupid, she realized. If she was never gonna give it to Senpai, why bother writing it? Maybe one day she’d have the courage, but not anytime soon.

She sighed and went back to bed, a nightmare of losing Senpai to Osana haunting her mind.

She eavesdropped on Osana the next day, talking to Raibaru.

”It...It was so weird, Rival-chan. I don’t want to tell anyone else about this but like...she looked frightened. I don’t know, she’s been so nice to me...what do I do?”

She could see her purse her lips. “Osana...have you considered that maybe she was lying? Maybe she just wanted to scare you off of him? It’s like those stupid girls who try to convince you they’re a Yandere by just casually mentioning that they are.”

”You didn’t hear her,” Osana sighed. “She sounded...desperate.”

”Well, you can still be friends with her! But...I mean, there isn’t even a garuntee he’ll say yes to you, but who wouldn’t? I certainly would! Every woman for herself. If she finds a way to win his heart without scaring you away, then maybe she deserves him. But I doubt that will happen. By Friday, he’ll be yours.”

Osana nodded. “Yeah, you’re...you’re right. God...I can’t believe I’m actually going to tell him, does it feel like the week is passing by too quickly?”

Raibaru laughed.

Ayano decided to walk away. If she heard another word, there was no garuntee she wouldn’t murder someone, and that would be bad. She decided to go to her club.

”Morning, Yan-chan,” Budo greeted her. She approached him.

”How’d your talk with Raibaru go?”

Budo sighed. “Well...Since you were the one who convinced me to do it, I guess I can tell you, but don’t tell anyone else, okay?” He rubbed his arm awkwardly. “She isn’t in to men. At all. She’s gay.”

”Wait, what?”

”She’s in the closet, obviously, because a lot of people in the area are conservative and she doesn’t want word getting out that she’s a lesbian, but yeah. She said she was flattered and we talked a bit, but that’s not happening anytime soon.”

”Oh.”

”Yeah.” He sighed. “Well, it’s fine. Whatever makes her happy. There’s plenty more fish in the sea!”

Ayano nodded. She could not afford to have that mindset.

She spent all of class thinking about what to do. Maybe she could talk to Osana after school, when they were all about to go home after they cleaned up.

She tried to find her and found her at the front of the school, her arms crossed. “Oh, hi, Yan-chan.”

”Hi, Osana-chan.”

There was an awkward silence.

”Listen, Ayano, I...I’m really sorry about yesterday.” She rubbed at the back of her neck. “I just really care about Taro and I care about you too, but...I don’t want to choose between the two of you. I hope we can still be friends, I enjoy hanging out with you.”

She realized it just wasn’t going to work. She couldn’t find anything. there was no way to convince Osana, and she was in the way. “I understand, Osana. I wish I didn’t, but I do.”

She grinned. “Great! Oh, Rival-chan!”

She walked up, wearing a deadpan that rivaled Ayano’s own. “See you tomorrow, Yan-chan!” She exclaimed, walking away with her.

She found herself writing a much different note that night.

Ayano had to admit that it was sickeningly easy to distance herself from her own plans. She had left the note in Osana’s locker, not stating who she was, but asking her to come alone to talk about something very, very important at the back of the school. She already had the baseball bat in her hand. All she needed was for Osana to show up.

Thirty minutes before school started, she finally did, looking confused. “Ayano? You wrote me this note? What is it?”

”It’s something important.” She had a spare uniform nearby. She’d just have to change and then incinerate the one she had on, and she had thought to bring gloves for her to wear. And no one was nearby. No one would know.

”What?”

”it’s about Taro.”

”Ayano, I can’t...” Maybe it finally clicked what was happening. “Wait, why do you have a bat? Was the lead pipe unavailable?”

”Basically.”

”Oh.” She took a step back. “Ay-Ayano, you don’t need to do this.”

”Yes, I do.”

She turned around and tried to take off running but didn’t get far—Ayano grabbed onto one of her twin tails and pulled her to the ground. Osana shook her head. “Yan-chan, stop, please—“

She didn’t get any farther in her sentence—she took the bat as hard as possible to her head and she was out like a light.

One hit didn’t feel like enough. She found herself raising it above her head and hitting harder, until there was no way Osana could be alive.

There was a scream from somewhere behind her.

She whirled around. Raibaru stood there, horrified, her eyes the size of saucers. “What have you _done?_ You are _so_ not getting away with this, Ayano!” She didn’t even think of being afraid, even though anyone would have, the Indestructible Rival—angry and coming right towards her.

She slammed the bat into her knee and she fell down easily, her kneecap shattering, her scream becoming choked as she fell over. She dropped the bat, grabbed her spare uniform and started running while Raibaru inhaled to scream.

The blood all over her was warm, she realized. She could feel it’s warmth, seeping into her skin. She realized how much she enjoyed doing that as she scrubbed the blood off of her body, changed and went to find the incinerator.

He had that bad feeling again, but it was even worse this time. A pit had dropped into his stomach, and something inside him tugged him towards a location, as if some sort of string was reeling him in, towards something.

When he heard the screaming, he stopped in his tracks and then ran faster to the unknown location.

”OSANA!” Taro recognized her voice. Raibaru was screaming. “OSANA, _WAKE UP! SOMEONE, HELP!”_

That sounded so weird coming from her, she was indestructible, but when he reached the end of that weird, nonexistent string he felt like he hit a wall. Raibaru was on the ground, her leg at this weird angle and shards of bone sticking out of her skin on her knee, Osana laying on the grass on her side, her hand reaching out as if to grab at something. “What...?”

This couldn’t be real.

Raibaru’s eyes widened. “I-I don’t have a phone. Call an ambulance, call the police, maybe she can be resuscitated!” She sounded desperate. “Fuck, Osana, you _cannot_ die!”

”Wait, she—“

”GET YOUR PHONE OUT, YOU SPINELESS IDIOT!” Raibaru shouted. “Fuck, fuck, _fuck!_ I...I couldn’t help her! _FUCK!”_

He couldn’t dial the numbers right. He gave up and hurriedly threw his phone at Raibaru, still on the ground. She fumbled with it for a minute. “Hello? We need an ambulance, there’s been a murder at Akademi High! Someone...I...Hurry, damnit!” 

“Osana!” He shouted. He grabbed her by the shoulders. “Osana, get up! Please! No...how could this happen? Osana! Please! No, no, you can’t just...This can’t be happening!” Against his better judgment, he shook her. “Please! No...” She was bleeding, her hair disarrayed, her face bruised and some part of her skull looked...wrong, as if it was dented. But her eyes were wide open, glassy and dead.

He heard people coming but he didn’t care. “Raibaru, what happened?” He demanded.

She couldn’t seem to get up. She let out a choked sob. “I-I couldn’t help her. I-I’m sorry...Osana got...She...Sh-She, I-I tried t-t-to st-stop...to stop _her..._ I-I tried, but...I-I-I _failed._ _Osana!”_

All of a sudden, the police were there, people were surrounding Osana, on the ground, limp...lifeless.

She felt just as empty as before she met her Senpai when she got home. She barely realized what she did, actively trying to prevent herself from figuring out the gravity of her actions. She felt like calling her parents, but did she really want to admit she had just killed someone? She had already been questioned by the police—they couldn’t pin her to the crime and had decided there was no way to solve it. Even Raibaru wasn’t enough to convince them, possibly because she was hysterical, so much so it seemed out of character.

She sighed and pulled her legs to her chest. What if she still got pinned for it? Any minute, the police could come in through the door and arrest her. She kept running through what she did in her head, thinking about everything she did, what she could have done. 

Worst was the texts from Info-chan.

”I’m not sure whether I should congratulate and applaud you for this, or reprimand you for having the most dangerous person in the whole school—possibly besides you—bear witness to what you did,” Info-chan texted her when she got home.

”You don’t have to do, either,” she responded.

”I feel the need to do both, though. And warn you. Our friend Rival-chan is out for blood.”

”She’s out for the count. I took a baseball bat to her knee.”

”Yeah, she’ll be off that leg for a while. ‘Out for the count’ just means that when that count is up, she’ll be up. She’s grieving, she’s angry.”

”I am well aware. I don’t need your help. What do you have against Osana?”

”Did.”

There was knots in her stomach that tightened and multiplied. She fought the urge to hurl her phone against the wall and then just plain hurl. She saw something in the corner of the room—a tape.

She needed something to tear her mind away from everything, including the possibility of losing her Senpai which now seemed to be the only thing on her mind. She swallowed and picked it up. She did remember seeing a tape recorder somewhere in the basement. She ran down the stairs and went into the dimly lit room, looking it over as she dusted the gadget off. In black marker, it read “ **TAPE TWO** ” in large lettering, English, she noted, instead of kanji.

There was a click, a moment of silence and then a very familiar giggle. “ _Smile for the camera, darling!”_ A feminine voice said, joyfully.

” _R-Ryoba, can you please just untie me?”_

 _”We went over this the other day, darling. What if you run from me? Don’t worry, I’ll protect you, I’ll never harm you. Unless you make me, but darling, I’m sure it won’t come to that. Growing up, my mother would hurt my father a lot...”_ She cleared her throat. “ _I never was fond of my mother. Or my father. Oh, he was an empty shell of a man, he could never make me feel anything, barely could make my mother feel anything. I don’t want us to be like that, darling. We’ll be better! We’ll be in love! And we’ll do everything the right way.”_

_”What’s with your hair?”_

_”Oh, do you like it, darling? I dyed it. You like purple, don’t you? It’s your favorite color? I thought you’d like it. And I noticed that a lot of those girls you hung around had short hair, so I thought I’d cut it a bit. Do you like it?”_

_”What do you mean ‘the right way?’”_

_”I mean, you know, darling. I’ll get to know you. I’m already planning our first date, it’ll be perfect, and you’ll still be here. And then after that, we’ll have our first kiss, and we’ll work our way up to..._ ” Another giggle. “ _You know. In the meantime, why don’t you tell me a bit about yourself? I mean, I know quite a bit about you, already, but there’s still so much I want to hear! What do you do? Do you have any hobbies? Siblings? What’s your favorite food? Tell me about yourself.”_

_”...I’m a vegetarian.”_

_”You are? That’s nice, I’ll keep that in mind. Come on, there’s gotta be more to you than that! Darling, tell me!”_

_”Why are you recording this?”_

_”So that way, years from now, when we’re together and even more madly in love and, oh, maybe we’ll have a kid! If you had a daughter what would you name her? Maybe this’ll sound silly, darling, but I really like the name Mesume, because it means daughter, I think. I’m sorry, darling, I’m a bit scatterbrained, I’m just really happy! Oh, we should get married! Not yet, obviously, darling, ha. But you can propose to me after some time...and we’ll have a perfect wedding and...maybe we won’t...”_ More, vicious giggling. “ _Until after we’re married. But I want a kid young! Oh, we need to hurry through this all, I want to do things with you right, but I want to start my life with you already! Just wait till you meet my parents—they agreed to give us some time for now, but eventually, you have to meet them—oh, don’t worry, they already love you, I’m sure, but not nearly as much as I love you. What do you think, darling?”_

_”I don’t think we should be thinking about marrying, you kidnapped me and tied me to a chair.”_

_”I know, darling. Oh, you’re an athlete, aren’t you? I’m sorry for keeping you all cooped up here, maybe if you don’t run from me once I untie you, I’ll put a treadmill or something in here for you—would you like that, darling? Maybe as some sort of anniversary present I’ll get you weights or something.”_

_”Anni—wait, you want to keep me down here for_ years?”

_”Yes, darling! I’m gonna keep you all to myself for years, and years, and years. You’ll be all mine!”_

_”But, what about my family? I have a sister and a brother! My parents are sick! Ry—“_

_”Darling, it’s okay! I’m protecting you, remember? Protecting you from your neglectful parents and annoying siblings. You don’t have to take care of anyone anymore—I’ll take care of you! Of course, if we do end up having children, I’ll assume you take care of them, but lets face it, you’re parents should have been taking care of you. But they didn’t. You think I didn’t how stressed you were, how miserable you were, how it felt just_ so _good to have a few people care for you, to lover you, even though it wasn’t a love you’d ever get from me! Don’t worry, darling. I’ll keep you safe. I’ll keep you happy.”_

_”At a price.”_

_”At the price of your love, darling! And I know you love me! Say it. Say it!”_

_”...I’m not saying that.”_

_”Darling...are you... **rejecting me?** You **love** me, **don’t you?”**_

_“I...I love you.”_

_”Oh, darling, yes! Finally! I’ve been waiting forever to hear you say that! Oh, I can’t believe it, we haven’t even gone on our first date yet and already you said you love me! I love you too!”_

The voices faded out. Ayano gulped.

She hadn’t ever known how her parents met. The knot in her stomach tightened. She decided to just go to bed early, barely bothering to change out of her school clothes.

She was thankful for the lack of nightmares.


	6. Chapter 6

The next day, there was this weird sort of fog that seemed to be invisible but tangible, shrouding the enter school and the student body. Ayano went out of her way to look for Senpai and found him eventually, still walking up to the school, holding his book, head hung, alone.

”Taro!” She called, trying to find him. “Are...Are you okay? I...” She flushed.

His gaze looked empty. “I heard about Osana,” she said.

Taro nodded. “Yeah, she...” His eyes suddenly watered but he blinked and the tears were gone. “Raibaru saw some of it, but...she won’t tell me anything, and they didn’t catch the person who did it. Osana’s...”

She swallowed the lump in her throat. “I’m sorry, Taro,” she said. “I’m so, so sorry. She shouldn’t of had to...I’m so, sorry.”

Taro nodded. “Thank you, Ayano. I...should head to class.” She watched him leave, feeling guilt rise into her chest. She realized how much feelings sucked.

She felt a hand wrap around her wrist.

She turned around.

Raibaru was in a wheelchair, her leg wrapped in something, and despite the anger burning in her eyes, she wore a deadpan. “Listen.” Her grip tightened. “I _saw_ what you did. _I know._ You killed Osana. And I just _watched._ I’m going to make you _regret_ not killing me and I’m going to convince every person in Akademi, in Japan, in the entire _fucking_ world that you’re the one who did it. I’m going to make your life a living hell. And even if the cops get you, even if you go to prison, the _minute_ I get out of this wheelchair, I’m going to kill you, just like you killed her.”

”You might have been strong at one point,” she found herself saying. “But clearly you’re not indestructible. You’re just a high school anime girl. You don’t scare me.”

”Well, you’re a high school anime girl, too, Aishi. And you know what, you do scare me, but only because in my entire fucking life, I’ve never wanted to hurt anyone more. Watch your back.”

”You watch yours.”

Her phone vibrated as she rolled off—and she could see through a window, a silhouette of a person. “You do realize what a powerful enemy you’ve made, don’t you?”

”She’s a high school girl—what can she do?”

”We’re both high school girls, Yan-chan. I’d be careful if I was you. But good job. Osana’s gone. You can rest easy now.”

”I plan on it. Goodbye.”

She had absolutely no intention of ever, ever contacting Info-chan again. She took a deep breath, tugged her stockings up a bit and walked into the school, sticking close to Senpai, but keeping her distance.

 _I could confess to him,_ she thought. _But would he go beneath the tree for me? He probably wouldn’t have any sort of motivation too...I wonder how long he’s gonna be like this._

The weekend seemed as dismal as Ayano had expected. Two full days away from Taro! She sat herself down on the couch in her house and wrapped the blanket she had around her, and dialed her mother’s number. Maybe now that she could kind of feel, she’d feel something by talking to her parents.

Her mother picked up on the second ring. “Darling, Ayano is calling! How are you dear? How was school?”

”It was just fine,” she said. “But um...something happened. And-And...”

”Hold on a second, dear, this will only be a moment.” Her mother might have pressed the phone into her shirt for a moment. “Alright, sweetie, what is it, you have my full attention.”

”Do...” She grabbed the blanket she had been curled up in on the couch and started to twist it in her hand, feeling the fibers snap as she tugged. “Do you remember that conversation we had when I was younger. Out in the living room, where you told me, one day, I’d meet someone and my life would have some sort of meaning?”

There was a pause and then a squeal. “Ayano, dear, did you meet them?”

”I...I think so. His...His name is Taro Yamada. He’s...a year older than me.”

”Oh, Ayano, you have to tell me everything about him!”

”He has...black hair and grey eyes. Kind of like mine, but his hair is short. And he’s pale. And he just sits at the fountain all day, reading, and every time I’m around him, it feels like my heart is going to beat out of my chest. I...I don’t have the courage to really speak with him, but we keep...bumping into each other, and he keeps talking to me, and I...”

”Darling, our daughter is about to get herself a boyfriend! Oh, Ayano, dear, don’t worry—I know what you’re talking about, you’re in love with him. You want to spend your entire life with him. No one really deserves him because he’s the only thing that makes you feel anything, so no one should come in between you, that’s how things were for me when I was about your age, with your father...”

”I found a tape.”

She heard her mother giggle. “Oh, which one? Darling, did you look at the seventh one? You didn’t did you, I don’t want our daughter listening to _that...”_ She giggled again.

”It was just the second one.”

”Oh, that’s great. I—“ There was a noise of frustration on the other end. And...something else, something loud, something far away from her mother but still loud enough for the phone to pick it up clearly. “I’m so sorry, sweetie, but, I need to go.”

”Is...that a helicopter?”

”Oh, Ayano, you’ll have to tell me about him later, but I’m so happy to hear your voice, I’ll call you later, dear. I love you, be safe—darling, where did you put the cam—thank you, darling—I’ll call you later!”

Without another word she hung up.

 _No, still nothing._ She sighed and shut her phone off.

There was at least three hours Taro spent awake. He wanted to sleep, but every time he closed his eyes, he saw the limp, lifeless body of his childhood best friend so he didn’t want to sleep. He was awake but he got out of his bed about thirty minutes earlier than he usually did and left thirty minutes earlier for school.

He sat down in the same spot he always sat at before school, except it felt totally different without anyone else there. Almost lonely, but if it was as populated as i usually was, he wasn’t sure if he could stand their pitying glances or whispers covered by their hands. He sighed and closed his eyes, trying to just not think. 

_I won’t ever walk to school with her again,_ an intrusive, rebellious thought screamed. _I’ll never hear her voice. I’ll never be around her again. She’s...dead. She’s completely gone._

“Hey, are you alright?”

He stiffened and looked up. While he had been occupied, another student had found him and stood in front of him.

She was dressed in the female school uniform with an apron over it, a red armband and a mint colored bandana keeping her light brown hair out of her face. She carried a basket on her arm and had striped stockings that went up to her thighs. “Are you alright? You seem...really upset.”

”It-It’s nothing, I...” He sniffed and wiped at his eyes, but they were weirdly dry and the fact he wasn’t crying right now made him feel guilty and the guilt almost made them water. “Last week was...really rough for me.”

She blinked and then offered a small, warm, comforting smile. “Oh, I understand. I know we don’t know each other, but if you want to talk about it.”

”I’m still...thinking about it all.”

She nodded and opened her basket. “When I’m upset, I like to eat sugar. I made some manju this morning, at about three, would you like some?”

He hadn’t really eaten much, but he was kind of in the mood to eat his feelings. “I would.”

Her smile got warmer and she sat next to him. “My name’s Amai Odayaka,” she said. 

“Taro Yamada.”

The first thing Ayano did when she got to school was look for Taro, but once she approached the fountain, she saw a girl standing near him, cutesy and pretty with a basket in her hand and a smile on her face. Taro seemed pretty happy, but Ayano had no idea who the girl was. She pulled out her phone.

”Who’s the girl talking to Taro?” She texted Info-chan.

She waited for a response. If she was about to get one, Info-chan sure was taking her sweet time typing it out.

She heard the unfamiliar girl laugh and watched her stand up slowly. “It was nice talking with you, but I need to get to my clubroom right now. I...I would love it if you swung by the cooking club, though. If you ever need to talk, or see me, or just like, steal mochi from someone, I have no shortage of it in the freezer, feel free to come by.”

Ayano seriously wanted to kill her.

Even though the student was already walking away, Info-chan responded. “That’s Amai Odayaka.” _Well, I didn’t just want her name,_ Ayano thought. Senpai opened up a book and smiled softly as he read.

The next text came in after another moment. “She’s the cooking club president. She was in America, but she’s back now. And she has a crush on your precious Senpai.”

”Where do you get all this information?”

”She’s pretty sociable and very kind and well-liked, everyone knows she’s the cooking club president, she was talking nonstop about going to America at the end of last year and on social media. This information isn’t hard to find. I just listened to the entire conversation between them. She’s got a crush on him, believe me.”

 _I don’t want to believe you,_ she thought. The idea of having to do something like what she already did again made her shudder. She couldn’t help but to wonder, had her mother had to go through something similar with her father?

She shook her head, watching Taro carefully—she didn’t care about her parents The phone call she had with her mother had changed nothing, though now she was beginning to wonder if maybe she had hoped to feel something during that phone call? It didn’t matter, it didn’t matter. No, what mattered was Taro.

She switched the camera on her phone, as if she was about to take a photo of herself so she could take a look at herself. She looked the same she always did—her phone vibrated. Info-Chan had sent her a text, information on Amai Odayaka including a picture of her—in an apron, her hair tied up with a kerchief, smiling almost angelically.

Ayano felt a stab of envy—Amai had somehow managed to develop a reputation as a cutesy, kind and caring girl. Of all the boys who surely would have liked to talk to her, she spoke to _her_ senpai, and now, as Ayano looked at every last scrap of information her informant had to give, Ayano wondered how an average student like her could compete? _How could I even compete against Osana?_ She asked herself, staring at Taro again. _Oh, right, I couldn’t—so I killed her instead. Brilliant._

She swallowed and straightened out her shirt. Maybe she should change up her appearance? Add a bit more color, an accessory, something to grab Taro’s eye?

She paused—she had never wanted to change her appearance before. Slowly, a grin spread across her face—somehow this was an improvement, she thought. In a weird way.

Plus, she remembered that conversation with Taro—Taro felt he was average too. Maybe there would be something about her average-ness that could have her developing a relationship with him. Still though, maybe there was something about her appearance she could change for the better.

”Oh, Ayano!” Budo grinned at her, his arms crossed in front of his chest, but not in an intimidating way. “It’s nice to see you!” His mood brightened slightly less. “...Have you heard the news? About Osana Najimi?”

Ayano nodded, and immediately, her expression shifted into something sadder. “Isn’t it terrible, Budo? I...I can’t _believe_ someone would hurt someone like Osana! She...” Ayano swallowed.

”Did you know her?” He asked.

Ayano nodded, slowly. “Yes. I...Wanted to know her better. We weren’t close, but I thought we were on our way to becoming friends when she...”

”I know we shouldn’t gossip about it, but do you know what happened to Raibaru? I heard that she was with Osana, and I mean, she’s injured now, so it makes sense, but why wouldn’t the killer murder her too?”

”Maybe they were only out for Osana? But why would anyone want to hurt Osana? Poor Raibaru, they were so close.”

”Yeah.” Budo sighed—he brightened, but it looked fake and Ayano saw right through it. Whatever, she thought, but there was a stab of what she thought might have been guilt, dulled by not being around her Senpai. It wasn’t any of her business, right? “Anyway, Ayano, was there a reason you were here?”

”I know I need to get to class soon, but um...” Ayano moved a strand of hair out of her eyes. “I was thinking about maybe...joining another club?”

Budo blinked. “Oh.”

”Yeah, I mean...This club has been great!” She exclaimed. “I’ve loved sparring with the other members and with you, you have been so nice to me, but I don’t think martial arts is my thing. I feel like I should pursue something else as a hobby.”

”Are you sure? You know you can’t rejoin, right?”

”Yes, I do. And believe me,” she said, even though she didn’t believe herself, she didn’t know if she shouldn’t, though. “If I could, I’d be in both clubs, but I think I want to join the cooking club? I don’t know—I think, in my future, cooking would be a more useful skill then martial arts, because it’s not something I have a large enough interest in and just won’t benefit me the same way it might you. But thank you so much for this opportunity, Budo.”

He smiled. “Of course. And you’re welcome to spar with us anytime, even if you’re not a member of the club.”

”Good.” She grinned—it felt faker than Budo’s. “I should get going, thank you so much!”

”Oh!” Kokona exclaimed, looking at her. “I recognize you! Geez, Ayano, I haven’t spoken to you in awhile.” She grinned. Ayano only knew her name because Info-Chan had given her some information on all members of the cooking club—otherwise, Ayano would just know her as the best friend of the girl with long hair with large breasts (not that Ayano spent too long looking at her breasts, though there was a few rumors her best friend did, though why Info-Chan thought that was something she’d want to know was beyond her.)

”Yes, I’d say it’s been a year or two.”

”It took me a minute to recognize you,” she said. “That choker? It’s new, right? And your socks are new too!”

Ayano had bought it right after school, the day before. She remembered Budo waving at her as she left the campus, proving they were on good terms, but Ayano hadn’t went home, just went straight to the store to buy some sort of acessory. It wasn’t anything too out there—the choker was simple, more like a black ribbon around her neck with a small bronze colored pendant attached, in the shape of a circle. She had also purchased a pair of thigh high socks that—instead of the simple black ones she owned—had a checkerboard pattern, in white _and_ black. It made a small difference, she thought.

”Yes, they are new.”

”What are you doing here?” Kokona asked.

”I was thinking about joining the cooking club.” The club room was pretty empty—as if there was no other members.

”Oh, cool! Well, you’ll have to ask the president, but I’m sure she’d love it if you joined.” The door to the classroom opened. “Look, there she is now.”

Ayano looked her up and down, searching for any sort of detail she had missed. Amai Odayaka looked a bit chubbier then she had originally thought her to be, adding more curves to her body, and her eyes were warmer and her smile brighter. “Oh, hi.”

”You’re Amai Odayaka?” Ayano asked. “I was hoping I could join your club.”


	7. Chapter 7

Amai had been more than happy to make Ayano a member. Ayano had pretended to be happy to join and expressed a deep enthusiasm for learning to cook.

Immediately after school, Ayano went to the club. Amai was the only one there—she smiled warmly at her, helped put on her apron, moved to let her wash her hands. “I’m so happy we have a new member,” Amai claimed—her tone sounded genuine, but then again, so did Ayano’s. How was she to know whether or not Amai actually had these feelings she seemed to?

When Ayano turned around, drying off her hands with a paper towel, Amai was standing behind her, smiling that warm smile and holding a kerchief. Ayano threw the paper towel away and turned back to face her. “What?”

Amai was still holding the kerchief. “This is for you. I made it during lunch.” She handed it to her. Ayano grabbed it slowly.

”...For me?”

”Yes.” Her smile is so warm—like this entire room. When Ayano grabbed it though, she noted Amai’s fingertips were ice cold. “All of our members get one.” Ayano must have still been too quiet, so Amai kept going. “You wear it in your hair. To make sure it stays out of your face while you cook.”

Ayano paused, looked at it. The cloth was relatively thick, cotton, soft on her hands and pink. “But my hair’s already tied up.”

”Well, that and it’s an accessory,” Amai told her. “To indicate you’re a member. All clubs have one. ...I just thought you’d like it,” she said. “You don’t wear a ton of accessories so I wasn’t sure what you’d like.”

”I’m wearing a choker,” Ayano said.

Amai frowned. “But you’re...not?”

Ayano grasped at her neck—her fingers found nothing. “I _was_ wearing a choker. It must have fallen off.” _Of course it did, because the entire world is against me, the world does not want me to get Senpai’s attention._ “I...appreciate the gesture, Amai.”

Amai’s smile suddenly looked strained. “Anyway, I was thinking we start with something simple, but good—have you ever made spaghetti?” Ayano shook her head. “It’s relatively simple, in my opinion, I learned a really good recipe for the sauce while I was on vacation, in the U.S.” She smiled brightly. “I’ve been dying to try to make it myself, I learned it from my grandmother who lives in Washington, her second husband owns an Italian restaurant. I already have homemade noodles, so we’re just going to be working on the sauce, but it makes a really good meal.”

Ayano was still trying to figure out her kerchief—she had no idea to put it on. Amai looked at her. “Do you need some help with that?”

”...I suppose so.”

Amai grinned, turned her around and helped her put it in her hair. “You look great! I hope you don’t mind the color, I was trying to go for something simple but...” Ayano turned around to face her—Amai looked her up and down. “Now, on you, it just looks a little too girly. Maybe I should have gone with something black...”

”No,” Ayano said. “I’m trying to change my look a little more. And I appreciate the gesture, I’m...not used to anything but my usual ponytail.”

Amai’s eyes are just as warm as her smile. “Your ponytail suits you. I just thought I’d give you something small, to welcome you into the club! I’m honestly happy to have a new member.” Ayano was starting to get the feeling that Amai really was genuine. “Alright, let’s get started! This should be fairly easy, so don’t worry too much.”

”And now we wait while that simmers.” Amai sat down at the table, sighed and threw her head back. Slowly, Ayano sat down beside her. “So, what made you want to join the cooking club?”

Ayano shrugged—she tried to recall the lie she fed Budo. “I think cooking would be an important skill to learn and...I don’t know much about cooking. My mom is always home at five sharp and she insists she cooks dinner for everyone. She likes it when she gets help, but it’s always small things—chopping a clove of garlic, stirring a bowl, setting the table. I’ve never expressed an interest in learning until now.”

Amai nodded. “No better time like the present to learn cooking, right?” She sighed. “Last year, I remember the club members were starting to decrease...Of course, we had Raibaru but she wasn’t really a member, she was just trying to be more in touch with her feminine side and wasn’t sure which club to join. She helped us every so often. She was very interesting.” Amai frowned. “I haven’t seen her since I got back. Do you know her, Raibaru?”

Ayano tried to think—Raibaru seemed to want her dead. If Amai were to talk to Raibaru and bring her up, she’d definitely try to tell her Ayano had killed Osana; that made Ayano wonder, if Raibaru went around, claiming Ayano killed Osana, would anyone believe her? Surely, someone would. Or, maybe they wouldn’t entirely believe Raibaru, but perhaps they wouldn’t be so quick to trust Ayano? What did she do if this got around? “She was the girl always hanging around Osana, right?”

”Right!” Amai visibly brightened. “You should have _seen_ how quick the two of them befriended each other.” She laughed. “I know we all mock the idea of love at first sight, but...” The look in her eyes was gentle, honest. “I think that’s what they had. Platonic love, I think, but still love. Just immediately, click, they were best friends, always around each other, following each other. Laughing with each other.”

Something in her chest squirmed with an unknown emotion—was she still feeling that emotion though? Should she be feeling guilty, hearing about how much Raibaru had cared for Osana, only to watch her—her best friend—die? Killed horribly, while she stood by, when she should have been able to protect her, to help her, but _couldn’t?_ _Oh,_ Ayano thought. _I’m starting to understand why Raibaru might want me dead._ “I don’t think the idea of love at first sight is...baseless.”

Amai laughed. “Didn’t realize you were a romantic!” Amai stood, walked over to the stove and looked at the pot, as if to make sure Ayano hadn’t done anything stupid that would ruin the sauce. She had also put a pot full of noodles on to boil. “I remember in middle school, we used to talk but...I never would have guessed you’d believe in something like love at first sight!”

”You’re the one who brought it up,” Ayano reminded.

Amai laughed again. Ayano added, “I think you’d get along very well with Budo.”

”Oh, Budo Masuta? He’s pretty cool. Friendly. For the most part though, I think the club leaders tend to get along well! Do you know Budo?”

”I was in the martial arts club before I was in this club,” Ayano admitted.

”Oh,” Amai said. “Maybe you can show me some moves, teach me self-defense.” It was obviously a joke, but from deep within her chest, Ayano loathed the very idea of doing that—murdering Osana had made her feel... She didn’t have the words or experience to phrase how she had felt. Was that how anyone would feel if they committed murder? 

“I don’t think I’d make that good of a teacher.” Her phone vibrated. “Hold on, I need to look at something.” She pulled out her phone.

Info-Chan had texted her, “Getting friendly with Amai-Chan? I wouldn’t recommend that, if I were you. I would estimate you have only until Friday before your precious Senpai knows of her feelings. He doesn’t seem like the type who’d easily reject a girl.”

Ayano scowled.

Amai looked at her. “Are you okay?”

”...Yes. I’m okay.” She looked up, locked eyes with Amai. “Let’s continue.”

She lingered by the school gates, texting Info-chan. “I need a poison. Emetic.”

Info-Chan sure took her sweet time responding. Ayano felt herself growing antsy—she was gonna need it by the end of school. Did she have enough photos of other girl’s panties for that? She wasn’t sure. She looked around—right as her Senpai walked through the gate. Ayano felt her heart beat faster, but Taro didn’t make eye contact. Ayano watched him leave, as her pounding pulse thrilled her, wishing she could just get closer. She put her phone away and slowly took the kerchief out of her hair, slowly walking after him. Now, if she remembered correctly, Taro would stop, look at the time like he usually did and then would turn right down the street. She took her kerchief out of her hair and quickly tied it around her neck, leaving the knot at the side. She had reverted back to her black stockings making this kerchief the only new thing about her, she was hoping this would grab Taro’s attention.

A large group of boys happened to pass by as soon as Taro glanced at his phone—some boy said his name, faceless in the crowd and as the group passed, Ayano lost sight of Taro.

Taro never gained sight of her.

She swallowed—that hurt. She had gone all of middle school being ignored and now, being ignored hurt. A lot. Taro hadn’t even _looked_ at her. Taro hadn’t noticed. A girl with a very familiarly gentle pair of eyes looked at her as she walked towards the gate and stopped.

”You saw that whole thing, didn’t you?” Ayano asked.

Amai nodded. “That’s rough. Tried to get a boy’s attention?”

”I didn’t try hard enough.” She didn’t feel comfortable talking with Amai. Her phone vibrated.

Ayano glanced at it—a text from Info-Chan read, “Check in the same place last time tomorrow morning. It’ll be there.”

Amai looked at her. “Any chance I can walk home with you?” She asked. She had a very soft, gentle tone in her voice. “We both walk in the same direction for awhile.”

Ayano knew rejecting her could come off as rude—and she was going to see her first thing in the morning, so she definitely didn’t want Amai to dislike her. “Sure.”

She smiled brightly—she still had a basket on her arm. “Let’s go then.” Ayano’s smile wasn’t nearly as blindingly bright.

The walk felt longer than usual—Amai made friendly conversation. She was very kind, very warm. About halfway though, she opened the basket she had and pulled out a piece of candy. “Oh, do you want one, Ayano?” She reached in and pulled out an open Tupperware and offered it to her.

”What are they?” Ayano asked.

”They’re pieces of strawberries, but I stabbed them with pretzels and they’re covered in chocolate that I made myself. They’re not as sweet as I intended to make them, but they’re so good, they’re almost addictive.” Ayano took one, not wanting to be rude—the strawberry fell off, but she didn’t draw any attention to it.

”Thank you.” She ate the pretzel—which tasted good, she guessed, but she didn’t like it too much. She wondered if Taro would like it.

”I’ve no idea how I manage to stay so thin,” Amai said, eating another. “I’ve eaten about ten of these, some mochi earlier, spaghetti, and a lot of chips.”

”You are very thin,” Ayano said, looking at her. She had a perfect figure—a thin waist but still enough curves to be considered pretty.

”I have really good metabolism,” she chirped. “One day, though, my unhealthy eating habits are really going to catch up to me.” She popped another in her mouth. “Do you like junk food, Ayano?”

“Chips,” she responded. That wasn’t really a good answer, but she didn’t know how to answer. Amai nodded though, like she understood perfectly.

”Chips are good,” Amai agreed. “But they always make me thirsty, and ever since that one episode of that one anime, I’ve been reluctant to drink from water fountains, in case I electrocute myself.”

”Electrocution is bad,” Ayano agreed.

”Definitely,” she agreed. She stopped. “Well, this is where I turn. I’ll see you tomorrow, Ayano!”

”Goodbye, Amai.”

She reminded herself she hated her. 


End file.
